Petie is less than

thrilled by the latest acquisition of the "ping ping balls". Yesterday, the kittens were out and exploring the living room and all. Felix (the skinny one) jumped into the window and started checking that out. Petie came in the front door as per norm, and when he rounded the corner to jump up and see his dinner, he came to a skidding halt. I mean, he was poised mid jump and just s-t-o-p-p-e-d. I look over to see what the hub-bub was, and I see Felix standing in fight mode, all 8 feet of him (he puffs up REEEEEALLLLLLY big) and he is hissing at Petie.
To Petie's credit, I will say, he did nothing. Not one thing. He did not hiss is return, he did not try and take over his spot, he just stood there. he looked over at me with this look on his face like "WTF is THAT??" I don't think Felix realizes what he is up against. Peties 12 lbs to his 1. hmmmm.... Doesn't seem like a fair fight, does it? Now, all someone needs to do is tell that to Felix.

drive by

Felix

Meet Oscar.

posting so you can meet Oscar and Felix...

a funny Petie story.... or two

I have to share these two stories with you all, because they, I mean HE had me laughing this morning.
I was loading the kids up in the car this morning, to go to school. nothing spectacular, happens every morning much the same way. We trip out of the house, Petie looks at us, as we walk by. (truth be told, he usually hides in the mulch and attacks someone as they walk by.)Yet I digress.
So, the little girl I watch gets in the front, and she goes "Mrs. Wilson (that still sounds weird to me, even though it has been 15 years) there is a praying mantis on your truck, how do we get it off??" -just then, conveniently, Petie strolled by. While the other kids were getting in their seats, I pick up the tub-o-lard, I mean cat and show him said bug. Well, the mantis was not diggin Petie touching it, and it flew off the car. Satisfied, that I have gotten rid of the critter, and no one got eaten in the process, I set the fat, I mean cat down. Just then I see him take off and jump and twist in the air. I look to see what it is that got his attention, and it was the MANTIS. Stupid bug flew back toward my truck, and then into my neighbors lawn. (where Petie completed that swell move) and I see it land on her house. her house is BRICK. RED BRICK. I turn, an kinda chuckle that his hunting attempts have been thwarted. NOPE. The bugger climbed UP the side of her house! I mean, like 4 1/2 feet up. he scaled the outside of her house!!! A tree, sure, he has done that LOTS of times, but her HOUSE. And, the bug WAS STILL THERE! Holy crud. Sreiously. Now, I have to watch to see what happens, because in my opinion, there is no way he will be able to hang onto the house and get the bug all at the same time, right? WRONG. In one move, he had the bug in his mouth, and he was scaling down the side of the house. Not jump, like I thought he would but climb back down. (he MUST have been a goat in a former life, among other things). Now, he has the bug on her sidewalk. I feel seriously bad for causing this innocent, eat her mate after having sex with it bug, peril. (a *bit dramatic I know, but the kids were in the car...) so I go to pick up the fat S.O.B., and put him in the house. He is standing guard, because he is going to attack it the MOMENT it moves. Have you ever seen a praying mantis in attack position?? Freaky ass lookin bug. So, I did my good deed, and rescued the 11 lb chicken, I mean cat. Christina informed me that is was bad luck to kill a mantis. Exactly WHO would have had the bad luck? Me? I didn't kill it, I just showed it to my killing machine.... I guess, guilt by association??

OK, ready for story #2??
I was sitting on my deck with Lisa, making a list of all the things I will need to pack in order to take 5 people on vacation. (and damn it all, I don't seem to have the wriggle my nose and it's all done power). Anyhow, I am sitting there, and I hear this noise under me. Crud. petie has something in his clutches under the deck. I walk off the deck and look under it, and sure enough, there he is, standing on some poor critter. I look for something to kikda bang on the lattice with (as if that will really do anything) and I see that my darling husband (gawd bless his pea pickin heart) has left the hose on. (conveniently enough). I pick it up, and I aim it is Petie. (mean I know) he jumped backward, and puffed up. I mean he SERIOUSLY puffed up. I almost fell over I was laughing so hard. He was looking all around, b/c he could not see me, but somehow he just got dosed with water. he shook it off, and started back to the critter that had suddenly became quiet. I see him and again, hit him with another dose of water. he hissed, and looked around, he still could not see me. Now, let me tell you, the hose was not on the "knock you off your feet with force setting, it was more like torrential downpour mode. Not enough to hurt him in anyway, just piss him off pretty good. He goes back for a third attempt, and he was closer than he had been, so I sprayed him again. This time, however, he saw me. When he turned and looked at me, his ears went F.L.A.T. So flat, it didn't look like he has ears. He turned and scurried away from under the deck. (probably to run into the house and put a hot steamy turd on my pillow in vengeance). the critter under the deck, well, since it is dark and covered in spiders under there, I figgered it was OK. I saved it from Petie, while risking his wrath myself. Who know what became of it. Some one once told me "kid, some days it's diamonds, and some days it's rocks." I think I had a diamond day. Petie... not so much.

the first day of school

This is what the kids looked like... The sun was shining, the birds were chirping... And no, I did not do a jig, as much as I wanted to....(thought it might be a *bit* tacky... lol) I did however, see other parents marching their off spring to the building with a spring in their steps... It was quite a phenomenon
All pressed and dressed, the two older ones wanted to leave for school with the promise of seeing their friends again, and opening their craniums up for learning. (sound like an insanely bad advertisement)

Since Petie was out carousing the night before, this was his take of the first day of school. he had the sofa to himself, and no annoying tiny pair of hands trying to fit between his ears for a pet or two.

This had been a full box of crayons when I left with the kids for school. Freckles' take on the first day of school, more crayons for him! That will be ONE colorful poop out int he yard later on this week I am sure. Good thing crayola is non toxic.

This is what I did while the kids were at school. (aside from cleaning the house, did two loads of laundry and put it away, and ran errands) I thought they would like to have a nice snack to come home to. It was kinda fun to make, and I got to separate two bags of M & M's into colored piles.... What could be better than that?

And lastly, this was Petie when I went to pick the kids up from school. Note how the position changed, ever so slightly. Lazy lout. not even 5 hollering kids storming though the front door disturbed him. I am telling you, if lazing about were an occupation, Petie would be a MILLIONAIRE! Well, technically IIII would be said millionaire, since I am the keeper, I mean, HE is the keeper of me.

some one once said

the apples don't fall far from the tree....
I must admit,I have prided myself on that theory not being true, UNTIL I had my daughter. (attitude in spades)
So today was the first day of school for everyone. I did not break into song or dance as I walked them to school, although I will admit there were flowers and chirping birds, but it was AWFULLY sunny out this morning. Yet I digress.
After dinner, I am helping the hubs disassemble kimberly's bed (that he has been making) from out of the living room. -THAT is another story.
Two sets of footsteps come THUNDERING up the stairs. (I was starting to question what the ped's said about their weight. there is NO WAY on God's acre that a 43 lb and a 55lb child can make THAT much noise) Anyhow, Alex shouts out "I DIDN'T DO IT!!!!! I TOLD HER TO DO IT, BUT I DIDN'T THINK SHE WOULD DO IT, I WAS JUST JOKING"
"Do what?", I calmly ask, (while inwardly cringing) "This", Kimbelry replies and shows me her hands. In one, is a pair of pink pinking shears, and in the other is a WAD of hair. Pretty golden colored hair, who's tresses had known up to this point, only the beautician's scissors. NOT the sawed off edge of a pair of pinking shears.... Holy hell. My dayghter DID NOT just cut her own hair, did she? "Look Mama", she says. "It didn't hurt at all, and I did it all by my self" SUPER. (note to self, lock up any sharp or blunt instrument RESEMBLING a scissor)
NOW, let's rewind to the whole formentioned apple/falling from tree thought shall we?
when I was five-ish (I will say I am closer to 6, but I cannot be 100 percent sure)any how, I had hair down to my butt. Yup, long wavy dark hair all the way down to my behind. (hey, it was the 70's and I was cool). I hated my long hair. Scratch that, I HATED having my long hair combed and curled by mom. HATED it. To this day I still cringe in the beautician's chair if she brings out a rod curling iron... I always wanted shorter Farrah Faucet-ish hair, but no go. Mom and dad though m,y longhair was pretty. Mom worked nights, so one night, while she was at work, and I knew the other kids were up in their rooms, I took it upon my self, to cut my hair, since I wanted it cut and no one else would do it for me. I placed the scissors next to my temple, and SNIP. Cascading to the ground, came one of my dark tresses. I surveyed what I had done, and realized that I would be in a HEAP of trouble for doing so. So, I did the only logical thing. I picked up said hair, and cut it up into itty bitty pieces, so it would look like the dog's hair, and I placed it in the ash tray.. I figured that I should not give the older kids any trouble going to bed, lest I blow my cover... The damage was discovered the next morning while on the bus...
and the story only gets better, but I wills top there.
I am so cutting down that god forsaken apple tree.....

This is what you look like

when another critter kicks your tush....
Friday, Petie came in from outside, and his arse and tail were SWOLLEN. I mean, did he just have a butt.tail implant swollen. I ran my hand down his back and over the tail, and he turned and hissed. Poor thing. So, he ate and them hopped on my bed. Well, actually he went on Ethan bottom bunk, but when I put a sleeping Ethan in there, he went to my bed. He was moving a little slow, and on Friday and Saturday, he did not try to get out. Not one Houdini move. NOT ONE. hmmm.... I gave him some antibiotics from the vet, and let him sleep it off. Every time I sat on the couch he glued himself next to me.
Perhaps this is the karma God's way of getting back at him for the killing spree he went on??
think he'll learn?... prolly not.

it has been

a while since I last blogged.
Sorry about that, life just got in the way. (funny how that happens)
I don't have a ton of things to tell you about, I just want to share some photos.
Some, are just the epitome of summer.
Petie... well my little serial killer is grounded until he is 50.

Enjoy.