Tuesday, running around in a midst of cheer practice, scouts, and getting dinner, someone left a message on my answering machine. Because I am just so anal retentive that I cannot possibly walk out of the house and leave that damn little red light blinking at me I hit the button before running some more with the kids. (who, by the way, were waiting patiently for me int he truck).
I hear my dad's voice on the other end, and my feet hit the floor. Several things race through my mind. 1. dad NEVER calls me. Ever. Period. 2. Damn, I think , what has happened to mom? (Again one of the only reasons dad would call.) Crap, crap, crap! OK, so now I seriously cannot let the message of "Steph-ne it's dad. Call as soon as you get this" go. No one says call as soon as you get this, unless it's bad news, right? I pick up the phone and dial my folks' number. Dad answers the phone, his voice strong and sounding great. hey Pops, I say, what's up? His response to me:
"you know that cancer deal I got going on?" (It's always been a "deal" with him, when ever he was ill or sick) Sure pop, I say, what's wrong. "Wrong?" he says, Nothings wrong! My numbers went down! They are at 425." He called ME. He wanted to tell me HIS news. He didn't wait for mom to relay the message as he has been doing this whole time. HE called. That means more to me than if the Pope himself showed up on my front door to offer me his blessing.
I take a moment to try and wrap my head around what he has just said to me. Desperate to hear more, but knowing I have to get going I begrudgingly tell dad I have to go and I will call as soon as I am home again.
I go out to the truck where the kids are wondering what took me so long and Alex says "mom, what's wrong?" (I am sitting in the front seat, gripping the steering wheel, staring out the window) and I say "nothing, Buddy, Pops is getting better" All three of my kids start to yell "YAY!!!" in the back seat. Tears just slide down my cheeks because I am happy to hear this news and yet so scared to be hopeful. I am proud to know he is fighting. Somewhere in there he found his resolve. he is fighting back and this time winning. I hope and pray that his numbers continue to go down and his good numbers go up. (Kidney function, which is a constant worry)
Mom, this is the best news I have been given in quite some time. It rivals your news when they told us you had put your own cancer in remission. I will remain ever vigilant that he may follow in your stead. Perhaps this is what he needed to hear to have some idea that he can fight and it ain't over till the fluffy lady sings. I love you both. More that I could ever articulate and would be lost with out you both. Losing one of you would be like cutting off my air supply... I am glad at the moment no one is going anywhere...
This week, there is a mega millions jackpot... I believe I have some numbers to play. Dad's numbers.