Happy Birthday Daddy....

you know, not that long ago, in a galaxy not that far away.... I lived in a dream world where everything was all flowers and chirping birds. Then reality hit and hit hard. And now, I feel as if I am in some sureal state. Like I am still wandering around in a dream where nothing makes any sense.

What you see about, is a picture of my parents, taken not that long ago, on my dad's 73rd birthday. We gathered around to celebrate with him, because, well, that's how we roll. When the chips are down we rally 'round and pull in the mattresses, what ever it takes. We laugh, we cry, we eat, we drink, we carry on. it's what we do. it's how we cope. Mom threw dad a party, because well he deserves one for going through all this crap. and it is crap. I hate what he has to go through. I hate that it is sucking the life out of him. Or is it? What is it really doing to him? Slowly killing him, one blood cell at a time?

Not today, batman, not today.

Mom called me last night. We try and talk every day. Monday I called and talked to dad for 15 minutes. I had a phone call. PHONE CALL with a man who HATES being on the phone, for 15 minutes. Mom was out, joining weight watchers he said. (Go mom, you can do this!!) Both dad and I believe in you. ESPECIALLY dad. His voice perked up at the thought of you doing this. He loves you and wants you to be happy. I know this. I could hear it, in the way his voice just changed ever so slightly when he was speaking of you. He's proud to be married to you. anyhow, I digress- dad and I talked abotu the addition we're building, the banks (bastards that they are) and the contractor we chose. (dad approved) not that our contractor knows him well, but my dad likes him just the same. and how do I know he approved?? because he told me it was a "bit of alright". Ever since I was a little girl, when ever he would approve of something, he would say it was a "bit of alright". He said that to dana when he asked for my hand in marriage. He said that when we told him we were buying a house, having a baby (along with his favorite line, that I took something serious that was poked at me in fun)-only my dad.

anyhow, mom told me that his cancer markers went down. DOWN. by the grace of God, and perhaps by all the prayers he has been given on behalf of my dad, the markers went down. and not just a little bit. they went from 770 to 625. 625. I think I will play the lotto this weekend, and his marker numbers will be my numbers. they climbed at an alarming rate. they started at 1.8, then went to 2.4, then to 400, then to 450, 750 and then to 770. all with in a few weeks. Those were scary numbers to me, because I have NO idea what they mean. How high will they climb? How high can they climb? well now, it looks like they are coming down the chemo is working. My mind is still reeling from the facts.

they are clouded only by the fact that he has fallen a lot lately, and they do not know why. So they ordered a ct scan to see what if going on... In the words of Scarlet O' Hara, I will worry about that tomorrow. Today, I will bask in the news that the cancer numbers are moving in a downward direction and all is right with the world.

happy birthday Daddy. I love you. I am proud to be your daughter, and next year, when we celebrate, we'll have a huge party!! We're going big, baby!